Crowson: Calling Doctor Winfield!

Sep 6, 2017

Credit Richard Crowson

When I got up this morning I was sore as I could be
There was pain in every square inch anatomically
Felt like my entire body was just one big bruise
Maybe it’s because I fell asleep last night watching the news

They showed dreadful pestilence, they showed ill will everywhere
Awful floods and nuclear threats all gave me a scare
Then I realized exactly why my health is a fright
I got severe over-exposure to the news last night
And I’m wondering if there might be a doctor who could make it alright???

Calling Doctor Winfield! Down in the Walnut Valley!
Hook me up to an IV drip of some festival fun
I’m “code blue” but I’ll soon be a “code bluegrass”
Instead of “flat lining” I’ll be a flat picking son of a gun
Tell the EMT it’s an emergency – Calling Doctor Winfield!

For the pain in my neck I think I need a Kris Kobach-ectomy
I’ve got severe pains coming from the Alt-Right side of each knee
I’ve had this Brownback pain, but there’s something else that’s even scarier
There’s a big orange growth that’s been a pain on my posterior
And I’m wondering if there might be a doctor who could make it alright???

Calling Doctor Winfield! Down in the Walnut Valley!
Hook me up to an IV drip of some festival fun
I’m “code blue” but I’ll soon be a “code bluegrass”
Instead of “flat lining” I’ll be a flat picking son of a gun
Tell the EMT it’s an emergency – Calling Doctor Winfield!

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