Crowson: I Got A Used Pair Of Eclipse Glasses

Aug 23, 2017

I got a used pair of eclipse glasses
I guess I’ll put ‘em up for sale online.
There must be somebody out there that needs ‘em
For looking at a thing that’s got a bright shine.

I only used them for a few brief moments
So now I’m posting them for sale on eBay.
I’ve got a very low reserve and the shipping is free
You really need to get your bid in right away!

But I should warn you that my eclipse glasses won’t work
On certain things that just aren’t bright enough to see:
You can’t see the president, he just won’t show up at all
Not even with his shiny orange glow.
And don’t try to see a single one of his bright ideas
His Muslim ban or his wall against Mexico.

Eclipse glasses won’t help if you’re trying to see
The brilliance of his North Korea strategy.
But come to think of it that may be just what you need
For looking at a nuclear catastrophe.

I got a used pair of eclipse glasses, I guess I’ll put ‘em up for sale online.
There must be somebody out there that needs ‘em
For looking at a thing that’s got a bright shine.

I only used them for a few brief moments
So if you’re out to find a shady acquisition
They’re great for looking at the situation that we have now
Where common sense has been eclipsed by narcissism.

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