‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the White House
Not a creature was colluding, not even his spouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Vladimir soon would be there;
When out on the lawn there were TV crews,
And Trump sprang from his bed to check out the fake news.
When what did his wondering eyes see below,
But nineteen #MeToo victims all in a row.
Congressional women for his resignation did call;
Trump screamed, “Dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”
And he whistled and tweeted, he was angry and fussy!
He said, “I’ve a good mind to grab them each by the…(ahem) well, to grab ‘em.”
He put back on his hair net and was turning around,
When down the chimney Robert Mueller came with a bound!
Trump sprang to his lawyers, and when they were contacted,
He said, “I need something to keep the public distracted!”
And then he exclaimed, “Before they arrest us,
“Let’s get folks stirred up again about the war on Christmas!”
Here’s wishing you and yours a bigly happy holiday!