Inside Out: Umbrellas Gone Wild

By Claire O'Neill

Published October 29, 2012 at 12:04 PM CDT

1 of 11 — Hurricane Sandy's winds are already picking up in Cape May, N.J. Kim Vo (right) captures a Kodak moment of her friend, Lisa Cellucci.

Hurricane Sandy's winds are already picking up in Cape May, N.J. Kim Vo (right) captures a Kodak moment of her friend, Lisa Cellucci.

2 of 11 — A storm called Kyrill sweeps through Germany with hurricane-strength winds in 2007.

A storm called Kyrill sweeps through Germany with hurricane-strength winds in 2007.

3 of 11 — Hurricane Isaac wins in New Orleans, 2012.

Hurricane Isaac wins in New Orleans, 2012.

4 of 11 — And Hurricane Isaac wins again.

And Hurricane Isaac wins again.

5 of 11 — Tiffaney Battle (perfect last name) and her dog, Zach, versus Hurricane Isabel, Alexandria, Va., 2003.

Tiffaney Battle (perfect last name) and her dog, Zach, versus Hurricane Isabel, Alexandria, Va., 2003.

6 of 11 — Hurricane Wilma takes on New York City, 2005.

Hurricane Wilma takes on New York City, 2005.

7 of 11 — Umbrella attack during Hurricane Wilma in New York City, 2005.

Umbrella attack during Hurricane Wilma in New York City, 2005.

8 of 11 — Kyrill in Germany, 2007.

Kyrill in Germany, 2007.

9 of 11 — A man in Germany gets no sympathy during Emma — another storm with hurricane-strength winds, in 2008.

A man in Germany gets no sympathy during Emma — another storm with hurricane-strength winds, in 2008.

10 of 11 — New Yorkers brace against winds from Hurricane Gloria, 1985.

New Yorkers brace against winds from Hurricane Gloria, 1985.

11 of 11 — Kayla Mejia of Annapolis, Md., struggles again winds from Hurricane Irene, 2011.

Kayla Mejia of Annapolis, Md., struggles again winds from Hurricane Irene, 2011.

Here's one thing that continues to elude me: the fact that we humans have literally been using umbrellas for centuries — and we've still yet to engineer a windproof rain-shielding device. And even though we know this, we continue to buy, and use, and break them. Constantly.

Or, giving the masses the benefit of the doubt: Maybe the nefarious umbrella manufacturers realize that we will keep buying crappy contraptions because we have no choice.

But in the battle of umbrella versus storm, umbrella clearly doesn't stand a chance.