Christmas has hundreds of songs. Thanksgiving has “Over the River and Through the Wood.” New Year’s has “Auld Lang Syne” and Easter has “Here Comes Peter Cottontail.” But Halloween has zilch.
So here’s a song for Halloween. Played, appropriately I think, on the scariest instrument—the banjo.
This is a list of each scary thing that can frighten you this Halloween:
A letter for you from the IRS
A store-bought cantaloupe
Yet another GOP presidential debate
To drain your soul of hope
A call from your mechanic saying
‘Your repair bill’s a whole lot higher’
Or yet another Texas presidential candidate
Who’s a climate-change denier
This is a list of each scary thing that can frighten you this Halloween
The eyes of Mrs. Michele Bachmann
Or the statement from your 401(k)
500 more orange cones in the street
To obstruct you on your way
The skeletal face of old Fred Phelps
And a plan called “9-9-9”
A press release from Governor Sam
Saying Kansas arts are fine
This is a list of each scary thing that can frighten you this Halloween…
For KMUW I’m Richard Crowson wishing you a scary Halloween!