Richard Crowson: The Royal Wedding? Snooze...
Are you as excited as I am about this royal—yawn—wedding thing? Brother. I’m sorry, and maybe it’s a guy thing, but weddings of any sort have never really done that much for me.
I view the royal wedding about the same way I view NASCAR. It’s not really the sort of thing I can get into, but I’m glad it’s there for all those people who seem to enjoy it so much—they’ve got to have something to do. Come to think of it, that’s probably what a lot of folks say about banjo playing, I guess.
So, needless to say, I did not set my alarm for 5 a.m. this morning in order to catch Prince William and Kate Middleton’s big day.
But I do find myself a little concerned about Kate. I don’t know if the British tradition is the same as ours, but if I’m not mistaken, the cost of most marriages falls on the bride’s family. I heard that Kate comes from working-class folks. Her mother’s family were labourers and coal miners. Isn’t this great razzmatazz wedding going to set them back a bit? And marriage expenses come at a time in a young couple’s lives when they especially need that money. I just don’t know how wise it is to shell out that much dough for banquets, carriages, 1900 invited guests, and all that stuff at this particular time in this economy. What if Prince William gets laid off from his prince job? And Kate’s last job was as an accessory buyer for a clothing chain. I’m not seeing a lot of job security there, kids.
Well, the deed is done, and here’s to the happy little couple. Sorry I didn’t get up for your wedding, kids. Maybe someday I’ll get interested in watching weddings, at least if they have a little twist to them.
Say, if Charlie Sheen decided to marry both of his goddesses. Or maybe if two same-sex NASCAR drivers decide to tie the knot.