Richard Crowson Commentary

You know that soccer mom who jogs by your house every morning? The other day she went right up to your son’s third grade teacher and stripped her naked of the due process rights she’s had for the last 57 years here in Kansas.

And that guy who was smiling and joking with me in the checkout line at the grocery last Saturday? He lit a firebomb, taped a tax credit for private school supporters on it, and flung it through the window of a first grade classroom in the wee hours of Sunday morning.

Joseph Novak / Flickr / Creative Commons

Whew! That ol’ Kansas wind! It’s been blowing like crazy lately with gusts up to 35 miles per hour and higher.

It’s been blowing so hard that it completely blew the cover off a couple of Koch subsidiaries.

The Kansas Chamber of Commerce and Americans for Prosperity were left shivering and coverless by those recent gusts. The Kansas Chamber and Americans for Prosperity are known for their own windy proclamations about jobs and how much they, oh, so sincerely just want what’s best for the Kansas economy.

With apologies to Johnny Cash and Hank Snow:

We’ve beat everyone, man, we’ve beat everyone, man

Made the Roundhouse roar, man

Took it to their door, man

Mopped ‘em off the floor, man, we’ve beat everyone!

We’ve beat Illinois State and Bradley and Drake

Loyola, Evansville and Indiana State

UNI and SIU and Tennessee and ORU

Alabama, Davidson – Hey, we really had some fun!

Tennessee State, Tulsa, William & Mary and DePaul

North Carolina Central – They all took a fall!

Lucy can’t get over us human beings.

Happy Valentine's Day to all you googly-eyed lovers out there! Give your honey an extra little squeeze this morning, safe and secure in the knowledge that your Kansas Legislature is working tirelessly in defense of the sanctity of the right kind of marriage.

Wikimedia Commons

We’ve heard about the state of the union, the state of the state and the state of the city. It’s time we had an update on the state of the city flag.

The dull, grey days of January are at hand.

Olga Martschitsch / Flickr / Creative Commons

Of all the measures of time that humans have invented, the one I have the biggest problem with is dog years.

For too long we have suffered under the delusion that the “spirit of the season” is sweetness and love. Truth is, nowadays it’s bitterness and hate! So here’s a seasonal song to fit our times:

Deck the next guy who says “Happy holidays!”

Hum-hum-hum-hum hum-hum-humbug!

Tis the season to argue ‘bout Santa’s race!

Hum-hum-hum-hum hum-hum-humbug!

Shop while you gripe that it’s too commercial!

Hum-hum-hum hum-hum-hum hum-hum-humbug!

Everything’s now controversial!

Hum-hum-hum-hum hum-hum-humbug!

For the most part, the people who listen to or watch or read what the media has to offer have an impersonal relationship with media outlets.

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